Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Hollywood Clichès Round Three

I have a theory that every decade there is one movie clichè that defines that movie as from that era. I have noticed several contenders for this decade, like cup dropping, but I think I've hit upon the right one.

This will go down as the era of teeth brushing. Every single movie and show these days has somebody brushing their teeth at some point in it. It's almost as if the Dentist Mafia (the military arm of the American Dental Association), has threatened studio heads to put a scene in every movie or at least one episode of a series, with someone showing proper dental hygiene or else.

I can imagine how this went down. In a secret meeting between the ADA, Crest, Oral B, and Colgate, a crisis has occurred. Maybe profits were down, or maybe plaque was up, it doesn't matter but whatever the crisis, action was decided upon. If people see more people brushing teeth more people will be influenced to do it, (some parts of the American south and the U.K. seem to be exempt, maybe as a testing ground for tooth related diseases or just something to scare the kids with).

A dental conference for Hollywood dentists was called (in Las Vegas, of course). They were given special training and sent back like a spider on its web to wait for the sounds of toothache. Once a studio head came in for a checkup the dentists training took over.

"I really think you should show more people brushing their teeth. And not because I'm a dentist, I think people really want to watch people scrub the crap off their teeth and pay money for it too." Dentist says.

"Why on Earth would anyone want to see that?" Studio head mumbles around dental instrument lodged in mouth.

"Because if you don't, I drill without the Novocaine!" Dentist laughs.

The next time your at the dentist be careful, who knows what they might force you to do.

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