Saturday, September 22, 2007

Here be Monsters!

Captain Itchybeard, here!

In honors of them peoples in Washington celebrating my piratical heritage by privateering booty out of a bunch of landlubbers pockets, (it be the pirate way!) I've decided to scribe my comments in piratese. (where available)

Ahoy! Me says to my fellow cut throats and bilge rats! Tis be a fine day to be standing in the crowsnest spying for a fat merchantman out of Nasau. But alls I sees is miles of the most godforsaken ocean that has ever been godforsaken.

As I stand scratching me nether regions, a plan begins a formulating in the back of me brainpan. Kills the crew and sells them all for long-pig barbeque. (I spells it with a q, cause that's hows I likes it) But then I be needing another crew to sails me ship, and that thought floats away with the trade winds. (Even though I could almost taste the q)

Then I be contemplating shivering the timbers of a fine wench back at Port Royal, and the rumbullion burning down me gullet. But even the thoughts of women be taboo at sea, so I switches me subject to having the men fight for scraps from the captain's table, when I sees white sails marring the curve of the Earth.

"We gots one!" I shouts "Ye dogs, we gots one!"

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

My Book is Finished, Kinda

With excitement and loss I finished my book Monday morning (September 3rd) just before noon.


Now let the rewriting begin!

Unfortunately, this blog will still not be updated in a timely or reliable matter, but it does mean that I can give you a one line description of my book:

My book is concerning a man with no memory of his origin who's bent on killing the man who stole the minds of the only people he knows.

And of course there will be some probulation, dust mop wrestling, and drowning in meat sauce just to keep the natives happy.

The final count (subject to change) is 315 pages and 83,000 words.

Guess it's time to start the next story.