I'm the Father of Anna Nicole Smith's Baby

I was on the verge of calling a press conference but that prince guy beat me to it on Friday so I had to make other plans. His press conference would merely steal my thunder.

It's been a secret for too long. Yes, I am the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby.

I didn't want to announce too early because just like candidates for the presidency, the early worm usually burns out before the finish line.

Some might ask when I met her, and I say back, it hardly matters. Yes we were never physically in each others presence but I've seen her on TV, on the internet, and in print.

At some point she had to know that I existed and somehow through the magic of television obtained my DNA to create, in a Frankensteinian experiment, a child that will bring me the big bucks.

I will challenge all con-men... err... potential fathers to a thumb war, the winner take all! Screw paternity tests, that's my baby and I have the thumbs to prove it.